---
title: "On ghosts"
description: "A look in the mirror, a painful memory, and the colors of hard work"
author: "Ghaith Ayadi"
site: "Verbatim"
collection: "The mechanics"
url: "https://verbatim.ayadighaith.com/the-mechanics/on-ghosts"
date: 2024-09-21
updated: 2026-09-16
---
# On ghosts

Week one of military bootcamp. I had already fractured my foot then and it was doing bad. One afternoon, We ran to our sleeping quarters and I made the rookie mistake of removing my combat boots to check on my feet because I wasn’t feeling them. Lo an behold, I saw my foot swell to double in size in like 10 seconds. I had a moment of panic. 

I had the same moment of panic today

I walked in the door after that savage 6h ride with the intention of changing shoes and going out for a brick run. 

When I saw my face in the foyer mirror, I panicked. I felt sorry for myself for a  second.

I looked white, as if I’d seen a ghost. I looked scary. No blood in my face, just sunburnt, pale, black, blue, grimy and shiny and the same time. 

146km in the road ain’t nothing.